I’m back! Well very nearly.
Covid 19 finally arrived in our home just after half-term and in a strange way I’m actually grateful for this. Grateful because I can relate to those who have been through it. And grateful that having this insight may help me to help you.
I’m also grateful because I’ve got food, clothing, a home and I’m surrounded by the people I love – family and friends who are loyal, trusted and adored. I have a fantastic career, a wonderful home and (Covid notwithstanding) good health and wellbeing.
I also know that I’m very lucky to have come through this. Covid is no respecter of age, health, vitality or mindset and takes far too many people too soon.
When I sat on a Covid ward with my father for nigh on two months last winter, I honestly thought I was invincible and half entertained the vain idea that I was safe. Now that I’ve had it, I realise I was just lucky. Blooming lucky.
I received my Positive Covid result on Sunday 7 November. My children had their positive results a few days earlier. I had no symptoms and only tested because of the children’s results.
The night before my result came through, I went for a run – technically a Kenyan Shuffle – inspired by my coach and friend, Jean Pierre De Villiers. My ‘run’ – the first in months, was soooooo slooooow. I covered 1.63km in 13m 11s. When younger I could do a mile in just over 6 minutes, so it was baaaaaad! But also, it was good, because it meant that I was on my way to winning. Winning in my head and winning in the health and wellbeing stakes. I uploaded my run to Strava and was excited that I was ready to run again.
Next morning at 8am – a little notification on my phone announced my positive status. Oooof. And just like that, I was confined to the house for 10 days. I was really fed up and felt quite cheated, as I felt so well, happy, positive and full of energy. Absolutely no symptoms, so surely this was a mistake. Three more negative lateral flows convinced me that Test and Trace had made this up. My kids’ lateral flows, had come back positive almost immediately, so surely I was fine.
Monday morning. BANG. I woke up feeling pretty grotty, miserable and sorry for myself. (Did a lateral flow – negative again!) But, I had the most awful headache and mouth ulcers. Although I’d cancelled my clients, I decided I could do some work on my laptop. Surely that’s just as relaxing as watching Netflix? I just couldn’t hack it. My brain wouldn’t, couldn’t focus and I kept dozing off. A temperature of 39c – chills, shivers, intense heat and more chills – a fever to end all fevers. Hours passed and I just got worse and worse.
For three days, I pretty much slept. On the third day, I finally had a feint positive lateral flow. Clearly I had Covid, the PCR was right and Test and Trace hadn’t ‘pulled a fast one!’ Then the indescribable pain accompanying a heavy chest arrived.
It felt like Luna, our Labrador had decided to bring all her mates from the park to camp out on me. She hardly left my side during these three days, choosing to sleep at my feet which felt so comforting and reassuring. Another thing to be grateful for. Gazing into her big brown eyes encouraged me to get well.
Other symptoms which still come and go have been sore throat, blurred vision, itchy eyes, aching joints, loss of taste and smell (which is so strange) and oddly, an increased appetite. (Bummer!)
It’s now Day 20 and although I feel much better than I did, I’m still breathless, extremely tired and weak and have a persistent, troublesome cough. Episodic coughing can last for up to 20 minutes and catching my breath can be challenging.
I’ve allowed the cough to become a meditation object. Just focusing on it and relaxing and stilling my body as the cough attempts to take hold. This has really helped to take away the fear of being unable to take in sufficient oxygen. I feel that if I can control my breathing, I’ll return to full health. I know I will – after all, I have some serious running to do!
Although Covid is playing its merry little dance with my immune system at the moment, it’s not going to score highly. I’m determined that my immune system will be the winner in this dance-off.
In the meantime, I’m taking each day as it comes. I had hoped to have returned to work by now. It’s absolutely my intention to work this coming week, but I’m placing no expectation on that.
As Rumi said: “Your heart knows the way, so run in that direction.”
